Moments later, a crowd of ladies in floral shorts, wedges, and tight black dresses that hugged every curve, and bros in diamond-studded Ed Hardy t-shirts and popped-collar polos made their way up the narrow stairwell.
They were greeted by a lit up palm tree, tropical printed shirts hanging from a clothing line behind the bar, and by Sonora Carruseles’ “Micaela” and other Latin songs reminiscent of a typical Hialeah Noche Buena.
It was Sabrosura night and the club looked more like a salsa competition than one of Miami’s top hipster bars. But if there was one thing the Latin music freaks at The Garret did better than anyone else that night, it was shake their asses to sweaty Spanish music.
Here are the ten dirtiest, filthiest Latin songs, according to the mamis and papis at la noche de Sabrosura.
“From the top of my head, the Pitbull song that goes ‘si tu quiere que to coma toda,'” said Gabriela Alonso.
Alonso’s right. Before he became Mr. Worldwide, Pitbull was Mr. 305 and he was driving all of the mamis loca with “Toma.”
Wisin y Yandel’s “Te Suelto el Pelo”
“There’s that reggaeton one that goes ‘sacate la camisa y los pantalones,'” said Waleska Mora who was dancing by the bar.
“That one’s pretty dirty.”
Any song that gives a semi-detailed account of performing oral sex on a woman merits instant sucia status, right?
Daddy Yankee’s “Limbo”
“There’s also Daddy Yankee, ‘Limbo,'” Mora added. “It’s sexy and flirty, but it has a nice beat.”
It doesn’t get sexier (or raunchier?) than singing about “rodillas al piso, baja, y pasa el limbo.”
Daddy Yankee’s “Gasolina”
“‘Gasolina‘ is also a good one,” Mora added.
Dyland & Lenny’s “Pégate Más”
“”Pégate Más” has a sexual vibe to it,” said Maria Mitarakis.
It seems the reggaetoneros can’t get enough of it. They want “más, más, dame más.”
“So does ‘Tacata’‘,” added Mitarakis after searching through her iPhone playlist.
We’re not too sure what “Tacata‘” means, but Tacabro loves it when “las mamitas hacen el tacata’.”
Ninel Conde’s “El Bombon Asesino”
“The lyrics of ‘Bombon Asesino,'” said Daniela Luna.
Surprisingly enough, the artist isn’t a reggaeton star, she’s a Mexican pop singer.
And as the song suggests … Yes, she has a killer ass. And yes, she claims it’s “un bombon masticable.”
Baby Ranks, Wisin & Yandel, Tony Tun Tun, and Daddy Yankee’s “Mayor Que Yo”
“That’s a hard one,” said Alejandro Aragon, who was dancing to Mr. Pauer’s salsa mix. “Let me ask my friend, she would know…”
“You know the one that goes, ‘no importa que usted sea mayor que yo‘? That’s her choice,” Aragon answered.
Because age is just a number.
Tequileiras do Funk’s “Surra de Bunda”
“This one isn’t Latin, it’s Brazilian, but it’s the dirtiest one I can think of,” said Chris Ferrer.
“The video is literally a girl smashing a guy’s face with her ass.”
DJ Laz’s “Esa Morena”
“And you can’t go wrong with ‘Oye Morena,'” he added.
After all, it is Miami’s booty anthem.
–Courtesy of Miami New Times